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About Spiritual Direction
[adapted with permission from
Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation]
The Process of Spiritual Direction
Spiritual direction, sometimes referred to as spiritual guidance or spiritual friendship,
is an on-going relationship in which one person (the directee), desirous of being
attentive to his or her spiritual life, meets with another person (the director)
on a regular basis (approximately once a month), specifically for the purpose of
becoming more attuned to God's Presence in order to respond more fully to that Presence
in all of life.
The primary focus of the session is the directee's relationship with God as it is
reflected and challenged by all aspects of that person's life.
The directee assumes responsibility for his or her life with God. This means that
the person coming for direction is trying to be serious about some form of intentional
prayer and reflection on the God-currents of one's every day life and prayer. During
the meeting of about one hour, director and directee seek to enter a prayerful atmosphere
where together they can be attentive to the Holy Spirit who is in fact the Real
Director.
The director may question, challenge, suggest, support, as seems called for by the
Spirit, but ultimately the directee must own whatever insights are uncovered or
course of action that is to be taken. It is assumed that the directee has begun
a journey with God long before he or she comes into direction. Also this intentional
journey will continue long after leaving a particular director. The director is
only a facilitator in the process. The directee must claim the journey.
Direction & Therapy: Some Differences
It should be noted that there are distinctions between spiritual direction and therapeutic
relationships. In general it might be said that therapy and counseling deal primarily
with problem areas of one's life and attempt to bring healthy resolution to issues.
Spiritual direction is concerned with finding and responding to God (in the midst
of pain or disorder as well as in the rest of life). Problem/issue solving is not
the primary focus of direction.
Finding a Director
It seems important to pray about finding a spiritual director, asking God to guide
your search and to open your eyes to the possibilities available to you. Accompanying
this prayer should be the exploration of avenues already known to you for persons
whose spirituality speaks to you though they may not name themselves or be recognized
as "qualified" spiritual directors. Such persons may be found among parish
staff, persons with whom you have shared small groups, or others who seem to attract
you for reasons unclear to you. If no one rises from these more natural settings,
then you might check out nearby retreat centers, religious communities, or centers
which offer programs for spiritual directors.
It will probably take some time to find the right person for you. If God is in the
felt need for a director, however, then it is safe to assume that the Spirit will
eventually provide the resources you need. The key is to remain patient yet diligent
in the waiting, to trust God in the process, remaining attentive to the direction
of the Spirit in all of life.
Choosing a Director
In a direction relationship, it is important for there to be a mutual sense of the
rightness of the relationship and a concern for open, honest, clear communication
and a reverence for the unique way God is working in the individuals involved. Coupled
with this is a mutual dependence upon the Spirit at work in the relationship. Human
specifics of age, sex, denomination and so forth, may assume more importance at
one time in a person's life than at another. Basically however, it is only necessary
that the two persons experience the kind of "fitness" that allows them
to be free for their common purpose together without undue attention to their relationship.
It is helpful to set up five or six meetings and then evaluate how things are going.
After that, periodic evaluations are encouraged so that what was begun as a right
thing does not continue past its time.
The Director
Spiritual directors may be found among persons of many denominations, laity, clergy
and persons in religious communities. They may be married or single and may seek
their livelihood in a variety of occupations. What is paramount is that the director
is responding to an invitation from God to participate in this ministry; that the
gift of direction has been called forth by others; and that the director has sought
to enhance the gift and sharpen skills through means appropriate to her or his particular
needs.
The primary responsibilities of the director are prayer for the directee and openess
to God for what is truly called for during the sessions. This assumes that the director
is taking seriously his/her relationship with God through intentional prayer, attention
to solitude time and regular spiritual direction.
Further, as a means of accountability in this ministry, and growth as a director,
directors should avail themselves of supervision in a one-to-one or group setting
with other directors. Whatever way this supervision happens, confidentiality must
be observed and anonymity of directee's must be preserved.
Click here for a list of
Cursillo spiritual directors. You also may approach any priest to inquire
about spiritual direction.
Fees and Contributions
Usually there is no set "fee for service" for direction. However, some
directors need financial support in order to be able to offer this ministry. It
is best to check this out at the beginning. You may find it appropriate to give
a material gift from time to time (e.g., a plant, candle, food, or something else)
expressive of appreciation. Also, you may be drawn to contribute to Shalem or some
other charitable cause. Again, this should be discussed with the director.
If Not Direction, then What?
Spiritual direction is not appropriate for every person. While you may feel the
nudge of something needing attention around human / spiritual growth, direction
may not be what is called for now. Or something in addition to direction may be
called for. You might test out your need through the following questions and suggestions:
Am I looking for some "how to's" in developing a prayer life? Or a group
with whom I can pray and share? Or support for my practice of intentional prayer
and meditation?
Consider:
Spiritual formation groups at Shalem or another center
Local church prayer groups
(Note: Shalem offers programs for leaders of such groups.)
Are there areas of my life calling for focused healing prayer that might be supported
and directed in a group setting?
Consider:
Local church healing services
Local church prayer groups
Do I want moral, biblical, or theological guidance for my life? Some person or group
to explore questions around life issues?
Consider:
Local church leadership and groups
Are there specific problem areas of my life or troubling emotions siphoning off
energy? Serious blockage issues that I want to talk about with another in hopes
that I can find some ways of overcoming the difficulties?
Consider:
Counseling or therapy
12 Step Groups
Do I feel the need for a "spiritual friend" with whom I can have an informal
mutual relationship of prayer, sharing and support for one another in our spiritual
journeys?
Consider:
Looking at the groups you are in and take the risk of asking someone to whom you
feel drawn and feel you can trust.
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