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Lucky One
By
Joe Ganey
Thirteen years ago, when I was 51 years old, I suffered a major stroke (brain
attack). According to the National Stroke Association, stroke is the leading
cause of adult disability and the third leading cause of death. This has
impacted me with major physical and cognitive deficits. I would like to share my
world with you in hopes that you have a better understanding of a stroke
survivor and why I call myself the “Lucky One.”
On July 29, 1994, I was mowing the lawn while my daughter, Patricia Smith,
happened to be sitting on the front porch. Suddenly, I became very dizzy and
unable to focus, so my daughter immediately called 911. The Fairfax County,
Virginia, Fire and Rescue Department responded. The members of the department
are not only trained firefighters who provide a full complement of fire
suppression, technical and water rescue and fire prevention services, but they
are also trained in emergency medical services. This includes basic and advanced
life support and emergency medical transportation.
The rescue squad gave me oxygen right away to preserve the good brain cells.
Acting swiftly is extremely important in the case of a stroke because 32,000
brain cells, or neurons, die each second. Kat Gaines, from the responding rescue
squad, administered the oxygen quickly, therefore saving my life. At the time,
the squad was hoping I was suffering from heat stroke rather than a major
stroke.
The Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department began in July 1949 with 10 skilled
drivers. It has now evolved to serve more than one million residents. They
continue to be responsible for meeting the emergency and all-hazards needs
throughout Fairfax County’s 395 square miles. Today, there are approximately
1350 uniformed persons serving in the county’s 36 fire stations. In addition,
there are about 230 full-time volunteers in the Fire and Rescue Department.
I dedicated 31 years to Eastman Kodak Company, but, after my stroke, I could no
longer work and was then considered “retired, with a long-term disability.” For
several years before my stroke, I was experiencing many warning signals -- --
dizziness, headaches, double vision, bloody nose, and even temporary paralysis.
As I look back now, I realize the importance of being properly diagnosed and
taking care of my health, instead of being consumed with work.
After several days in ICU, my initial early prognosis was rather bleak. I was
told by several neurologists that I would be very limited in my daily tasks and
that any hopes of a full recovery were minimal. I was still very dazed and
confused and did not fully understand that this was the end of my life as I knew
it, but the beginning of a new life. I was no longer the “old” Joe.
The road to recovery was when I really discovered the true meaning of hard, hard
work. I was dealing with many mental challenges as well as physical challenges.
Not only was it difficult to focus, but depression, anxiety, and severe mood
swings consumed me. The brain injury changed my level of comprehension and
rationale as well.
It became apparent that this stroke was not only affecting me, but also my three
children, Tricia, Carol and Brian. My wife, Peggy, was no longer with the “old”
Joe, but instead, a person who had become mentally unstable for a time. I don’t
know if I would have survived without the love and dedication of my wife and
children. My true friends were also instrumental in my recuperation, as they
were always available for me as well as my family during these difficult times.
My priorities had forever changed during my stroke recovery with love, family,
my Christian faith, relationships and friends now at the top of my list.
The physical aspect of my recuperation was just as difficult. I spent over a
year in rehabilitation with therapists, doctors and counselors. The simple tasks
of learning to tell time, mathematical calculations, walk up steps, walk without
a cane, drive a car, play golf and tie my shoes were now my most important
goals. It took many grueling months and much determination to finally reach my
goals, especially the ultimate goal of regaining independence. Once again, I
learned about patience through my long, tedious recovery. I lived by the motto,
“no guts, no glory!”
I continue to struggle with several cognitive and physical challenges. It is
difficult to follow conversations, comprehend numerals and dates and to stay
focused. I also encounter difficulty with paralysis on the left side of my body.
Facing the “real world” after my stroke took courage, as I was entering the
world as the “new” Joe. But, despite these different challenges, I live a happy
and fulfilled life. I found that there are two alternatives in dealing with a
disability: either it controls you, or you control it. It is a lifelong process
full of achievements and setbacks and I have learned to take the good with the
difficult.
Although surviving a stroke has been difficult and life changing, many of these
changes have been positive. The “old” Joe would not have taken time to reflect
on the positive effects of this tragedy, nor written memoirs of the event. I am
able, now, to take time to volunteer at nursing homes, reach out to others who
are facing the same tragic events, and share my experiences with graduating
therapists. My spirituality has become stronger and deeper than ever, and I have
even become an extraordinary Eucharistic Minister for my local parish, Our Lady
of Good Counsel in Vienna, Virginia.
Perhaps the most important lesson I have learned is that life is precious and
nothing should ever be taken for granted, especially our health. I believe that
God has a plan for each of us, and my stroke was God’s way of telling me to slow
down and “smell the roses.” I have been blessed with having an outstanding wife
and children, and being able to have a second chance with life. For that I am
truly grateful. That is why I call myself the “lucky one.”
I have become an enthusiastic survivor, and am motivated by several different
excerpts and poems…
Excerpts from Truths & Techniques from a Young Stroke
Survivor
There is life after stroke.
Progress is always possible, so stay hopeful and courageous.
The human spirit is indomitable and inevitably victorious.
The stroke survivor has more influence over his or her survival
than anything or anyone else – period.
Train yourself from miracle to miracle.
Learn to believe in magic.
Write-down your dreams and work every day to realize them.
Live every day as a thankful person – after all, you survived
a near death experience.
Develop and maintain a sense of humor.
Be kind to yourself.
Live by three words: “It Gets Better”.
Mark Bogusz
Stroke Survivor
The 21 Suggestions for S-U-C-C-E-S-S
1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine
90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to quality.
12. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige,
but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the
things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.
(I have also added three more of my favorites to this list).
22. Don’t Quit!
23. God is always with us, are we always with God?
24. Success comes with sacrifice.
Copyright 1993 by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
This same author has also made an inspirational list of priorities for living
well. These suggestions have inspired me, daily.
Priorities
21 Suggestions for Living Wisely and Well
1. Teach by example.
2. Bless every day with a generous act.
3. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
4. Do something everyday that maintains your good health.
5. Take family vacations whether you can afford them or not.
6. Have courage when things go wrong.
7. Standup for your principles even if you have to stand-alone.
8. Judge your success by the degree that you’re enjoying peace, health, and
love.
9. Be there when people need you.
10. Be of service to your community and your country.
11. Don’t overlook life’s small joys when searching for the big ones.
12. Tell the truth.
13. Be devoted to your spouse and dedicated to your children.
14. Manage your resources wisely.
15. Maintain a grateful heart.
16. Discover the power of prayer and thoughts.
17. Discover the power of forgiveness.
18. Love people more than things.
19. Look for the good.
20. Search for the truth.
21. Hope for the best.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The following poem is perhaps what best describes some of the behavior of the
“old” Joe. As I continue struggling with who I am today, I reflect on my
shortfalls before the injury. I wore this:
The Mask
Before the injury, I was like so many
Wearing masks that hid who I was
I met and conversed with people all day
But did we truly know what was said?
After the injury, I had no mask at all
Just a blank stare
I was here but not really
Unaware of what was happening around me
As I got better and search for whom I am
I learn about my deficits and I discover new talents
I do not hide behind masks
Because, I must find the new me
As the world sees me now
I show them who I am
They understand me less than before
Because, they do not understand a life without masks
Steve Richardson
As we all face personal tragedies throughout our lives, some of us are forced
to deal with more than others. Before my own stroke, my brother, George Ganey,
faced his own tragedy as he was severely wounded during the Korean War. His
later successes came because he never quit! He shared this wonderful,
inspirational poem with me during my difficult times:
Don’t Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow -- --
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -- --
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit -- --
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Author Unknown
One of my favorite Saints, Francis de Sales, has inspired me throughout my
life. I have included one of his brilliant passages that gives me great
strength.
Have no fear for what tomorrow may bring. The
same loving God who cares for you today will
take care of you tomorrow and every day. God
will either shield you from suffering or give you
unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then,
and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
-Francis de Sales
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