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05/21/99 Dave Kelley I do not like to write. I do not generate epistles. I do not like to read them. So in deference to those of you who are of the same ilk, I’ll make this short....and I don’t have a sense of humor. I was a little bit of everything and a lot of nothing (we’re talking religion here) as I was growing up, and much of my time was spent trying to find out where "there’s got to more to life than this" was. I finally found something that seemed to fit during college and converted to Catholicism in my senior year, before I met my first and last real girlfriend (& wife, Gail). Approximately 20 years, four children, and 8 or 9 military moves later, I was beaten into submission by Gail and our church community, & grudgingly attended a Cursillo weekend. The gate to community was open, I walked through, & my ability to "see" has been increasing ever since (of course spiritually, not physically, but that’s another story); I still withdraw sometimes, but not nearly to the extent I had before. Wasn’t that exciting? OK, then I’ll continue, at the risk that you won’t... Gail, our natural children, and my faith aside, the greatest influence on my life in the last 10 years has been our adopted son, Manuel (aka "Manny"). I think Gail would agree. As most of you know, when she & I volunteered to become his foster parents (everyone else took a step back) he was only expected to live 6 months. I don’t consider this the proper forum to discuss his medical background or pathology; needless to say Manny, the interminable hospice patient, will be 9 years old this August 15. He can’t see or hear, and has few, if any, cognitive abilities. His needs are very basic and normal body functions are facilitated by half a dozen different medications. He has many seizures, his ears stick out and his head is sort of bullet-shaped. He is very intimidating to most folks, at least initially. In short, Manny is a lot of work and demands a lot of attention. Gail is his primary provider, and I kind of follow along behind & help when I can. Manny is also a very gifted child; gifted in the sense that he also brings out the best in many people. Children from toddlers up through the age of 5 or 6 are usually captivated by his appearance or waggling tongue, walk up to him, innocently study him for a few seconds, and then touch his head, face, or hand. Teenagers will glance at him and either walk away or ask about him. Older folks (yeah, yeah, just like me) will normally walk up to him, touch him and smile in that soft and understanding way that life’s experiences have taught them. As Gail & I watch different people interact with him, we are continually reminded that despite his disabilities, Manny seems somehow to be able to communicate, and that communication is based on very fundamental levels of trust, love and understanding. He poses a threat to no one. His reactions seem to reflect the goodness in people. So what does this have to do with Cursillo? It is Cursillo (particularly the fourth day) and my faith that have enabled me to understand not only that God is with this child, but why God is with this child. Manny represents truth; what you see is what he is. He represents love, able to garner affection from others (unknowingly) without any desire for personal gain. He certainly gives much more than he gets. It is amazing to me that one so little and seemingly out of touch with reality can accomplish so much. Maybe that’s the point; I should be so lucky. De Colores, Y’all! Dave Kelley |
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